My husband is into a lot of things that just don’t hold my interest—cars, yard projects, sci-fi movies, soccer, etc. Though it might be easiest to encourage him to pursue these on his own or to ignore them and try to get him into things that interest me, I’ve been making an effort to learn about his interests and engage in activities related to them.
Recently this has entailed watching World Cup soccer games. The sport has always seemed boring to me, but my husband loves it. He grew up playing it and even played in college. I’ve patiently watched games and asked questions about strategy or about why certain penalties were given. I’ve learned a lot about the game, but I think I’ve learned even more about my husband.
I don’t want to overlook the need that men have for guy time and solitude. Husbands need time with their male friends. Sometimes these interactions provide opportunities for my husband to engage in his interests. There are also times when husbands need to relax and unwind by themselves. My husband may choose to engage in his interests at these times. I will not encroach upon guy time or solitude, but there are a lot of times when my husband wants to engage in his interests when he’s not with guy friends and he’s not trying to be alone. It’s during these times that I’m trying to learn more about his interests.
Why learn about your husband’s interests
It’s pretty normal for husbands and wives to have their own hobbies, so is it really important for me to learn about my husband’s interests? I think it is.
- It shows him that I care. Learning about my husband’s interests shows him that I care about him as a person. I’m not just interested in who he is as a financial provider for our family or who he is as the father of our child. I’m genuinely interested in him as a person.
- It allows me to learn more about him. I’m able to understand my husband better when I know what it is exactly about a particular sport or genre of movie that captivates his attention. This provides insight into how to communicate with him and encourage him.
- It provides opportunities to spend time with him. My husband spends most of his waking hours at work. Thus, I’m eager for any and all time I can spend with him. Even if we engage in some activity I don’t particularly enjoy, I’m still spending time with him, so it’s time well spent. Moreover, when it’s an activity my husband loves, he tends to view it as quality time, so this makes him feel loved.
I know my husband appreciates my efforts because he mentioned in a very touching status update on Facebook that he enjoyed getting to watch soccer with his wife. Who knows? I just might grow to enjoy one of his interests!
Does your husband have interests that you don’t share? Have you tried to learn more about these?
Shared on the following link-ups:
Works for Me Wednesday, WholeHearted Wednesday, Titus 2sday & Titus 2 Tuesday.
Some great tips. I watch all kinds of sports with my hubby…even take the time to learn how the games are played and the players 😉 I screw up a lot, but hey!
Thanks for sharing!
I think your effort is what matters!
Rev and I have been married for 42 years. When we met I was into music and theater, and he was a sports loving academic. Today we share a love for sports and theater. And the interests we don’t enjoy together we love to hear from the other’s perspective. You have wise words here. Showing interest in others, especially our spouses, is part of loving them. Visiting from Titus 2sday. Blessings!
Hi Deb,
You highlight a great point. Even if we don’t enjoy something with our spouse, we can still hear about it from his perspective.
Hi! Yes, my husband is really into photography, and I am NOT. But a couple of times, when we’ve been traveling in scenic places, I’ve gotten out a camera and taken photos of the scenery with him. It’s funny; whenever I’ve done that, it’s kind of turned into a competition. Who can get the neatest angle or find the most creative thing to photograph? We have had a lot of fun at it. I need to do that more with him.
I enjoyed your post. Found your link over on Cornerstone Confessions.
That does sound like fun. 🙂
Thanks for visiting!
I have been watching the World Cup with my husband and finding it quite exciting!!
I’m glad you’re enjoying it. It’s slowly growing on me. 🙂
Thanks for sharing and encouraging.
My husband and I like to be together, even when he’s watching e-sports and I’m looking at recipes on Pinterest on my iPad. I try to support him in his hobbies, and he comes to hear me sing even if it’s not really his thing. I’m sure I can do better, still.
It can be nice to be together while doing different things. Thanks for pointing this out.
I don’t think so .. my husband’s interest is always going out with his friends without me , not lifting my calls when out , playing online games with his friends when in home or texting his friends , and when I asked about having couple time , doing something together atleast a cup of tea in the morning or evening, he searched and sent me this post.. And wow again throwing me under the bus as usual..btw I am the one having taste in movies, art , literature, sports and all .. so what should I do leave all my interests , all work at home ,which I do alone and join him with his friends .. I am so angryat this post now .. if u meangood or bad , he weaponised this against me .. husband or wife despite of their own interests should find sometime for them as a couple ..it’s mutual not one way traffic ..
I’m sorry to hear this, Shilpa. It sounds like your husband basically has two interests: his friends and online games. If that is the case, then I can see why you can’t necessarily take part in those things. Would he be interested in you joining him and his friends for an outing? Is there a game you can play with him? If he doesn’t want these things, then it seems to me that there may be more of an issue here than simply having different interests. I’m not a marriage expert, but it may be time to consult someone (like a counselor) who is.
Taking interest in the things that interest your spouse should definitely be mutual. I’m sorry this is one-sided in your marriage. I hope and pray you find some time to spend together as a couple and that this interest becomes mutual.