My husband is into a lot of things that just don’t hold my interest—cars, yard projects, sci-fi movies, soccer, etc. Though it might be easiest to encourage him to pursue these on his own or to ignore them and try to get him into things that interest me, I’ve been making an effort to learn about his interests and engage in activities related to them.
Recently this has entailed watching World Cup soccer games. The sport has always seemed boring to me, but my husband loves it. He grew up playing it and even played in college. I’ve patiently watched games and asked questions about strategy or about why certain penalties were given. I’ve learned a lot about the game, but I think I’ve learned even more about my husband.
I don’t want to overlook the need that men have for guy time and solitude. Husbands need time with their male friends. Sometimes these interactions provide opportunities for my husband to engage in his interests. There are also times when husbands need to relax and unwind by themselves. My husband may choose to engage in his interests at these times. I will not encroach upon guy time or solitude, but there are a lot of times when my husband wants to engage in his interests when he’s not with guy friends and he’s not trying to be alone. It’s during these times that I’m trying to learn more about his interests.
Why learn about your husband’s interests
It’s pretty normal for husbands and wives to have their own hobbies, so is it really important for me to learn about my husband’s interests? I think it is.
- It shows him that I care. Learning about my husband’s interests shows him that I care about him as a person. I’m not just interested in who he is as a financial provider for our family or who he is as the father of our child. I’m genuinely interested in him as a person.
- It allows me to learn more about him. I’m able to understand my husband better when I know what it is exactly about a particular sport or genre of movie that captivates his attention. This provides insight into how to communicate with him and encourage him.
- It provides opportunities to spend time with him. My husband spends most of his waking hours at work. Thus, I’m eager for any and all time I can spend with him. Even if we engage in some activity I don’t particularly enjoy, I’m still spending time with him, so it’s time well spent. Moreover, when it’s an activity my husband loves, he tends to view it as quality time, so this makes him feel loved.
I know my husband appreciates my efforts because he mentioned in a very touching status update on Facebook that he enjoyed getting to watch soccer with his wife. Who knows? I just might grow to enjoy one of his interests!
Does your husband have interests that you don’t share? Have you tried to learn more about these?