20 Self-Reflection Questions for Christian Wives

At the beginning of each year, my husband and I set down to do some goal planning. One of the areas we consider is our marriage. When I think about how I’d like for our marriage to improve, I inevitably think of ways I want him to change.

There are a couple of problems with this. First, I can’t change him. This is a very practical reality. I can wish for him to change certain things, but he has to be motivated to make changes before it will happen. Second, in focusing on the ways I want him to change, I’m ignoring the ways in which I need to change. I’m not spending time in self-reflection or in working to address my own weaknesses.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot in the last few weeks. A number of questions have come to my mind during these ruminations. I started writing these questions down and I’ve been answering them. I realized that these might be helpful to other wives, so I’m sharing them here.

(Click on the image to view and download a larger, printable version of the questions.)

To be perfectly honest, it’s a lot more pleasant to give these questions a cursory glance than to really think on them. This is because I don’t like my answers to many of them! I’m discovering a lot of areas where I need to grow. I’ve noticed something that is particularly interesting. It seems that I notice faults in my husband that I have in myself. In other words, if I’m frustrated with something he is doing (or not doing), then there’s a good chance that I’m struggling in that same area. This reminds me of a Bible verse I memorized years ago:

“Therefore you are without excuse, O man, whoever you are who judge. For in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself. For you who judge practice the same things.” Romans 2:1

I hope that you will use these questions to take a good look at yourself. I suggest you look at one or two at a time, because you can’t examine yourself thoroughly if you consider too many at once. Don’t get down on yourself if you identify some areas where you need improvement (I’ve certainly identified many of these). Pray about them and use them as a starting point to guide your efforts to grow.

What questions would you add to this list? Are there particular ways that you engage in self-reflection as a wife? Please share your approach with us!

Shared at the following:

Tuesdays with a Twist, Busy Monday, Over the Moon, and Encouraging Hearts and Home.