I cleaned out the cabinet where my kids store their art supplies a couple of weeks ago. In addition to things like broken crayons and “treasures” (the rocks, leaves, twigs, etc. that they find on our walks), I found dozens of half-finished coloring and activity sheets. This reminded me of the numerous times they have completed half of a jigsaw puzzle before growing bored and moving on to some other activity.
My kids aren’t alone in doing this sort of thing. As adults, how many of us have purchased a treadmill or similar piece of fitness equipment and used it for a couple of weeks before leaving it to sit idle for years? How many of us decided to learn to crochet and all we have to show for it is a half-finished blanket? How many of us have adult coloring books that contain half-finished pictures or books that we started but lost interest in?
While there is no rule that my kids must finish everything they start, I think it is important that they sometimes finish things. There are several reasons for this.
- Finishing activities is an important life skill. My kids will need to be able to complete tasks in order to be successful in their future schooling, work, and homelife.
- Not completing activities can be a significant waste of time, money, and effort. If we invest in music lessons, sports team participation, supplies for hobbies, etc., then the time, money, and effort invested in these will be wasted if we never complete them. I want to teach my kids to be good stewards of everything they have. This means sometimes they need to stick with something until it reaches its end.
- There is satisfaction and joy in completing activities. Sampling different things can be fun. Think about a buffet—you can have a little of this and a little of that! This is true to an extent in other areas of life, but ultimately, we tend to get the most enjoyment when we finish things. Think about your favorite book. It’s not very satisfying to solely read the first couple of chapters. Doing this means you miss the climax and the conclusion! My kids will have superficial and incomplete enjoyment if they never complete their activities.
How to help kids finish what they’ve started
- Communicate expectations in advance. I believe kids benefit from knowing expectations ahead of time. If, for example, they want to take piano lessons and these must be paid for in 3-month increments, then we can communicate to them that they don’t have to take piano lessons forever, but we do expect them to complete lessons for 3 months before deciding that they don’t want to study piano any longer. It seems to me that setting expectations like this gives kids a “light at the end of the tunnel.” They know that a time is coming when they will be allowed to move on from an activity, so they feel like they can handle it in the interim.
- Break the activity down into steps. Sometimes things that seem easy to adults can be challenging and even overwhelming to kids. When they feel overwhelmed, some kids just want to give up! We can help keep things manageable for them by breaking larger tasks into smaller steps. Big craft projects don’t have to be completed in one day. They can be completed one step at a time over the course of a week. Athletic skills don’t have to be mastered in one day. They can be practiced a little each day for weeks and months. Novels don’t have to be read in one sitting. They can be read one chapter at a time. When we help our kids break things down into steps, the tasks before them are less intimidating and it gives them the opportunity to experience little victories as they proceed towards finishing a larger project.
- Consider limiting the available options. It’s not unusual for kids (and adults) to be distracted when there are many options available. If my daughters sit down and there are 12 coloring books on the table before them, they will most certainly not finish a picture before moving on to the next. This is because they will be excitedly eyeing all the coloring books, eager to move on to the pictures they contain. If, on the other hand, they have just one coloring book in front of them, they are more likely to finish their current picture. Options are nice, but it can be helpful to focus in on just one thing. For some kids, this might mean enrolling in just one activity each season. For others, this might mean engaging in just one hobby at a time. Consider if your kid is overwhelmed or distracted by the variety of options available to him and then set useful limits.
Final thoughts
In my family, these have been helpful approaches. However, it’s also important to keep in mind that sometimes kids have good reasons for wanting out of an activity. For example, a child might be being bullied at soccer practice, may feel overwhelmed when practicing his music, or may have pain in his wrist while trying to finish a coloring sheet. It’s important that we ask questions when our kiddos don’t want to complete things so we can find out if something is going on that needs to be addressed.
How do you feel about kids finishing the projects and activities they’ve begun? If this is important to you, then how do you encourage your kids to finish the things they’ve started?
I’m thinking that if I model this, then the little ones in my world will follow through with their own possessions!?!
You make a really good point, Linda! Kids learn so much through the examples we set. I don’t see why this would be any different.