4 Ways to Quell Comparison

I don’t know what it’s like for you, but when I hang out with friends and acquaintances, I find it easy to begin comparing myself with them. I’ll take note of their talents and see how mine measure up, I’ll think about how my house compares to their houses, I’ll consider how our approaches to parenting are similar or different, etc.

I think this is pretty common, especially among women, but it’s not beneficial. Moreover, it’s actually sinful (2 Corinthians 10:12, Galatians 1:10, Romans 12:2-3, and Exodus 20:17). Comparison is rooted in discontentment. When we compare ourselves with others, we take our eyes off Jesus and lose sight of the things He’s given us and the things to which He’s called us. Then one of two things happens: We either feel prideful because we believe we compare favorably to others or we feel disparaged because we believe we compare unfavorably to others.

Comparison is such a common action for many of us that we often don’t even realize we’re doing it. Given it is so common and so stealthy, how can we battle this sin? Here are some approaches I’ve been trying lately.

How to stop engaging in comparison

• Keep focused on God. I’m too busy to get caught up in comparison when my mind is focused on God. On the other hand, when I’m not focused on Him, then my mind strays to all sorts of other things. Staying focused on God is one of those things that is easier said than done. However, there are a number of practical things that help me get focused—and remain focused—on Him.
  • Begin each day with Bible reading and prayer.
  • Pray throughout the day.
  • Keep Bible verses posted in places where I will see them frequently (on the glass enclosure of our shower, inside cabinets, etc.).
  • Exchange encouraging text messages with women from my Bible study.
• Remember that God gives each person a unique calling and unique abilities. No two Christians are exactly alike, nor are we supposed to be. God knit each of us together in our mothers’ wombs (Psalm 139:13-18) and He has given us different gifts (1 Peter 4:10, Romans 12:3-8, and 1 Corinthians 12:1-31). The reality is that important work would be left undone if we didn’t have different talents and abilities!
• See differences as a blessing instead of a threat. Even though I know God has given each of us unique talents and abilities, I sometimes feel insecure because someone else is better at something than I am. When I feel this way, it’s because I’ve taken my focus off God and my identity in Him. When I get my focus back in the right place, then I’m able to see that our strengths work in concert to accomplish the work of God. Someone else’s abilities don’t take away from mine. They don’t change who I am or my calling. The gifts and talents of others complement my abilities and serve others in a way that my abilities can’t.
• Be grateful. Gratitude has a way of getting me in the right place regarding a lot of things! When I’m being grateful, it’s impossible for me to feel pride after comparing myself with others because I realize that every good gift is from God (James 1:17). Likewise, it’s impossible for me to feel disparaged after comparing myself with others because I realize that God made me to be the person that I am (Psalm 139:14). Gratitude makes comparison pointless, so it discourages me from engaging in it.

I wish I could say that these strategies keep me from engaging in comparison, but I still do. Thankfully, I now have a heightened sense of awareness regarding it, so I often find myself stopping and using one of these approaches to get my heart and mind back in line. This is a good start!

Do you struggle with comparison? What things help you stop engaging in it?

Shared at the following:

Moments of Hope, Grace and Truth, Over the Moon, Modest Monday, and Encouraging Hearts and Home.