A few weeks ago, a complete stranger stopped by my family’s table at a restaurant and asked me how I get my kids to behave so well in public. I was completely taken aback by the question! In fact, I had a hard time formulating an answer on the spot.
I was inwardly cheering. Parenting is hard work. I sometimes feel like I’m a hamster on a running wheel because I spend hours correcting the same behaviors in my children. There’s no way this woman could have known that her simple question was an encouragement to me. This is a little off topic, but don’t hesitate to compliment the moms around you! It makes such a difference in their lives.
In the short time I was able to contemplate the woman’s question, all I could think of was consistency. I believe a big reason my children behave well in public is because we expect the same behaviors of them at home. I explained this and the woman went on her way. In the days that have passed since this incident, I’ve had more time to think on the question. There are actually several things we do that help our kids be obedient when we eat out. I’m sharing these today because they may be helpful to you.
How to help young kids behave well when eating out
Be consistent
I mentioned consistency earlier, so I want to begin by explaining what I mean by this. My children are used to sitting still at a table, using silverware, using “indoor voices,” and eating what’s been put in front of them. This is what dinner looks like in our home every day. When they do these things at restaurants, they are simply replicating what we normally do. If you want your kids to behave in public, then you have to expect them to behave at home.
If it’s okay to throw food at home, then they will do this at restaurants. If it’s okay to get out of their chairs and run around during dinner at home, then they will do this at restaurants. If it’s okay to throw a fit at home when they don’t like the food on their plates, then they will do this at restaurants. It’s so much easier on kids if we determine our expectations of their behaviors and we enforce these expectations across settings!
Choose appropriate restaurants
There are numerous kid-friendly restaurants out there. We take advantage of these. We don’t take our kids to restaurants where patrons are expected to speak in hushed tones and where they will be unfamiliar with every item on the menu. This doesn’t mean we limit ourselves to fast food restaurants. We eat at plenty of table-service restaurants, we just make sure our kids will be able to talk and laugh at these without disturbing other customers.
Take toys and activities for entertainment
I always have an assortment of toys in the diaper bag for times when we have to wait. I generally pull these out when we are at table-service restaurants so my kids have something to do until our food arrives. Their favorite things to do while waiting for dinner are reading, coloring with their Water Wow Activity Pads, and drawing on their DoodlePros. My husband and I interact with our kids while they do these activities.
Go early
When we arrive at restaurants at peak times, it increases the likelihood that we’ll have to wait. Even when we have toys like those noted above, our kids eventually get antsy when they have to wait for long periods. This is especially true if they feel hungry! We try to minimize wait times by arriving a few minutes before the lunch or dinner rush.
Take helpful accessories
I like to have bibs and plenty of wipes on hand to help handle the messes my kids make when they eat. Lightweight, washable bibs are my favorites! When my kids were really little, we also took along their Miracle Cups so we didn’t have to worry about them spilling their drinks. Another thing we found to be helpful were disposable placemats that adhered to tables. These were invaluable when my kids were young enough that they couldn’t use plates well (from when they started eating finger foods until around 16 months). When they were these ages, they would often knock food off their plates or dump the plates, so it was easier to just place the food on the table. I’m not sure if the tables in restaurants are really clean, so I liked using these to cover the tables so I was certain my kids were eating off a clean surface. These accessories may not help your kids behave at the table, but they will help your whole family feel more comfortable and have a more pleasant experience while dining out!
Final thoughts
No matter what you do, your kids will have occasional episodes of poor behavior or meltdowns while in restaurants. Don’t let this get you down! You and your kids can all learn from these situations and hopefully the behaviors won’t be repeated.
These strategies work for us, but there may be other things that work for your family. How do you make dining out a fun experience for your whole family?
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