Book Review: The Marriage Knot

It had been a number of months since I read a book on marriage. I was looking for one for my husband and me to read as we relearn the roles of husband and wife after welcoming our third child. I didn’t have to look far because I received a timely email about reviewing a copy of Ron and Jody Zappia’s The Marriage Knot: 7 Choices That Keep Couples Together.

The book is written primarily by Ron, with Jody’s contributions coming at the end of each chapter in insightful blurbs titled “From Jody’s Heart.” One of the first things I noticed after I began reading the book is that Ron Zappia writes in a conversational tone. The book doesn’t read like a textbook or even a typical self-help book. He uses words from the vernacular and sometimes seems almost chatty. This makes the book easy to read and helps readers stay engaged with the text.

In the book, Zappia likens marriage to a knot. He notes that all knots loosen over time if they are not attended to. Marriage is no different. Marriages loosen and eventually become undone if spouses aren’t intentional about maintaining their relationships. He states that one way spouses can tighten their marriages is by making seven personal choices:

1. To grow spiritually
2. To love unconditionally
3. To serve sacrificially
4. To please regularly
5. To persevere persistently
6. To communicate respectfully
7. To bless abundantly

Zappia devotes a chapter to each of these choices. As you’ve likely noted, these choices aren’t groundbreaking. You’ve heard them mentioned in marriage books and in teachings on marriage before. This is because they are biblical. I appreciate that Zappia chose to focus on biblical principles and that he discusses a lot of Bible verses when unpacking each choice. A few times throughout the book he pauses and refers readers to assessments or quizzes that are available online. These are designed to help readers evaluate how they are doing in particular areas.

My favorite chapter is that on choosing to bless abundantly. This is something I struggle with in my current season. Things are so busy and I’m so exhausted caring for three young kids each day that I often forget to (or simply don’t care to put effort into) doing little things that will bless my husband. This chapter reminds me that the effort is worth it. It also helps me brainstorm some practical ways that I can bless my husband on a regular basis.

It would be great for spouses to read this book together (though one spouse can definitely benefit from reading it alone). It’s also suitable for use in small groups or by couples in mentoring relationships (there are even discussion questions provided at the end of the book). I feel it is best for couples who are in pretty secure marriages and are looking to perform routine maintenance to strengthen their marriages, not for couples who are facing significant problems. This is because the advice in the book is broad, not focused on particular issues.

After reading this book, I feel convicted that I need to grow in a few things. As unpleasant as this sensation is, it is a good thing and makes me thankful that the Zappias wrote The Marriage Knot: 7 Choices That Keep Couples Together. I hope you have a similar experience when you read it!

What books have you read recently that have challenged your way of thinking or inspired you to grow?

A complimentary copy of this book was provided to me by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

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Encouraging Hearts and Home.