I hear a lot of talk these days about teaching life skills to children. I’m pretty sure my grandparents, great-grandparents, and the scores of generations that came before them never used the term “life skills.” They taught children the sort of things that we refer to as life skills because these are the things people needed to know in order to survive.
However, many young people who are getting out in the world today don’t have these basic skills. They don’t know how to balance a checkbook, do laundry, follow a recipe, change a tire, etc. What are all of the life skills that young people need? Here’s a comprehensive list.
(Click on the image to download a larger, printable copy of the list.)
It seems a little overwhelming when you look at life skills on a big list like this. In reality, though, it’s not that daunting. These are things we do routinely. If we bring our kids alongside us as we go about everyday life, they’ll learn these skills, too. A few of the skills (like changing a tire, for example) may require we set aside a few minutes some afternoon for a special lesson, but with a handy list like this, we can be sure to cover all the important skills!
Some tools that I’m finding useful as I teach life skills to my kids include The Complete Cookbook for Young Chefs, a colorful alarm clock, and a daily planner for kids.
What skills am I missing? What would you add to this list?
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Thanks for the list! I have three kids, each with a unique personality but all with a strong-willed determination. This helps me know where to guide that independent spirit in a safe appropriate direction! Visiting from Coffee and Conversation party.
Absolutely, Victoria! I love the independent spirit, and it will benefit them as they grow older. It’s so good to be able to focus this on gaining new skills!
I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now, and enjoying it……even though I am *only* in my early 20’s =) Thank you for this list, as I can see where it would be helpful! I am the oldest of eleven siblings, and a couple years ago we realized that the things that I and my two sisters who are immediately younger than me did around the house were things we could do when we were 8 or 9. But the younger girls (10 and 13, I believe at the time) had NO idea how to, say, iron. Or wash dishes. Because the older girls in the family did it all. We have since remedied that, and they have learned and learned well.
I will personally make a few changes to the list….’cause boys are different in what they can do! My brothers start mowing the lawn when they are four or five with an old reel mower that they push around. Two of my brothers started a lawn care business and they are only 8 and 9. They use a riding mower and can weed-eat, and do a good job consistently. They also can change tires, brakes, oil, and do minimal repairs on our vehicles. Dad always supervises, but they don’t need too very much assistance anymore. I could never do this — I actually still can’t, which is something I need to ask Dad about, I guess.
Another difference between the girls and boys of our family is in dressing. At four, the girls can dress themselves. The boys however…..it depends on if you want them to match or wear whatever. Even hanging outfits together in the closet doesn’t help, as they pull the pants from one outfit and the shirt from another 🙂
Thank you also for encouraging parents to bring their children alongside them — that is how each of us learned, but I have seen that lacking so many times!
Thanks for taking the time to share these insights, Kaitlyn! You are right that there are many differences from one child to the next. One may be able to do something at age 4 that another can’t do until age 6. It’s important to remember that this is okay and to make sure we cater our guidance to each individual child.
This is such a great checklist! I really like that you put stuff like car and home maintenance on here. I am sad to say that I am not knowledgeable at cars (I’ve been trying to learn stuff, but it’s hard to get the information to stick in my brain), and I think it’s an important thing to know, and not just for men. After all, what if something happens to my husband and he can’t work on the car? I need to know how to get simple stuff done. I think sometimes, parents can want to do everything for their kids, but it’s so important to take a step back and use opportunities to pass these skills onto our kids.
I lack a lot of knowledge about cars, too. It is so important to learn this stuff, though.
You’re right about us needing to step back and let our kids learn these things! It’s easy to step in and just do things ourselves, but it’s best to let them learn.
It’s great to know what I should expect of my kids at their ages, and also to know that I’m not a bad mom when I leave my 10 year old at home alone for short time periods!
I agree, Dara, it’s nice to have a guide for these expectations.
Every kid is different. You know your 10-year-old and what he or she is responsible enough to handle. 🙂
this is FANTASTIC!! We unschool/life school our kids and I’m printing this off for each kid (11 and 12) so that THEY can check off what they know how to do and to give them inspiration/motivation to learn more. Thank you 🙂 xoxo
I love the idea of having them check off the skills they have! It’s an added learning opportunity.
This is such a good read. Thank you. I was ticking off the list, the skills that my 10 year old is already practicing and was surprised to see ‘staying at home alone’. I thought I was jumping the gun to allow this at his age, especially when I go to a meeting at night, or to buy bread quickly at the shop, but he has proven to me that he likes to be independent. I always leave a cellphone behind so he can call me anytime when he feel the need. One thing I would add to your list perhaps would be to teach them about the panic button if you make use of a security system at home. And to memorize both parents phone numbers.
Hi Cheryl,
I think the staying at home issue gets debated a lot. When a child is ready really depends on so many things (his or her maturity, if there are siblings who will also be home, where he or she lives, how long the parents will be gone, etc.). The correct approach will vary from one family to the next and even from one child to the next. It sounds like you know your child well, so you’ve been able to do what works for your family. 🙂
Those are great additions! Having kids memorize the phone numbers is so important. We don’t have a security system, but others will find it relevant.
Hi there! This is a great list. May I ask if this is based on your personal opinion? I’m not trying to be rude but I have a son who who we are having some concerns about and I wouldn’t want to base his abilities off of an opinion. Thank you.
This is a very good question! I’m not bothered by it at all. If you look at the bottom right corner of the image, you can see the sources I used. I am one of them, because some of this is my own opinion (I’m not a child development expert, but I used to be a pediatric nurse). I used two other sources (I provided a URL for each of those).
Every child is unique, so if your son hasn’t achieved these life skills by the suggested age it isn’t necessarily a problem. However, you know your child better than anyone. If something is going on that concerns you, then definitely talk to your pediatrician! He or she and other members of the healthcare team might be able to put your mind at ease or help you figure out what is going on so you can address it.
Hopefully you get some insight soon, Toni!
Nice list ! I was suprised in not seeing mention of traveling outside the house: finding their way in the close neighbourhood, going to the local shop on their own, walking to school alone, taking a public bus, going to an unknown destination, traveling abroaf…
This is great, Hoheya! I definitely should have included these things.
We used to live just outside of DC and I remember being surprised the first time I saw school children taking the Metro alone. They seemed so young, but they routinely rode it to get to their schools. These sorts of things are definitely important to learn!
Someday I am going to make an updated version of this that includes these things that I missed. I’ll definitely include these that you’ve suggested!
Can you tell me your reference source for this list? I saw something similar once in a Rudolph Dreikurs book. Thank you
Hi Ellen,
I’ve never read Rudolf Dreikurs, but it is possible he influnced the sources I did use. If you look at the checklist, you can see my sources listed on right hand side at the bottom.
Thanks Shannon. See them now. Appreciate your quick response.
You’re welcome!
Love the list!
I’m glad you found it helpful!