Dads Feel Stress, Too

A couple of weeks before Mother’s Day, I shared some research findings on things that cause stress for moms. Of course, moms aren’t the only ones who experience stress. Our male counterparts also experience considerable parenting-related stress.

Interestingly, when I began looking into this topic, I didn’t find any survey findings or similar data that would shed light on what fathers, as a collective group, find to be stressful. I did find many anecdotal accounts about the stressors dads face and a lot of information about PPND (paternal postnatal depression). I’ve drawn the information I share here from these sources (you can see links to these below).

Things that cause stress for dads

Here, in no particular order, are 10 common causes of stress for fathers (source, source, source, and source):

• Financial worries
• Changes in relationship with spouse
• Keeping the family safe
• Lack of downtime for recharging
• Not being in control (kids do the unexpected, inability to “fix” the problems kids face, etc.)
• Work-life balance
• Worries about kids’ futures (education, health, influence of peers, etc.)
• Being in high demand
• How things happening in the world with impact the kids (climate change, wars, disease outbreaks, etc.)
• Being a good enough father

When I asked my husband about his stressors, he said that a number of these ring true for him.

How moms can help dads deal with stress

To be honest with you, I don’t really want to think about how to help my husband deal with dad stressors. This is because I have so much mom stress to deal with already! It isn’t good to avoid doing this, though, because the Bible teaches us that we should be concerned with the interests of others, not just with our own (Philippians 2:4). Additionally, supporting him could actually help us both. Here are some simple ways that I try to help my husband manage dad stress:

• Give him time to do things that recharge him (for example, going to a movie with his guy friends)
• Avoid micromanaging how he cares for the kids
• Set aside time each day for us as a couple
• Encourage him to connect with veteran dads who can provide support and encouragement
• Diligently keep our spending on things like groceries within budget to ease financial worries
• Avoid nagging when things need done around the house
• Work with him to maintain a shared calendar so we are both aware of important dates, upcoming appointments, due bills, etc.
• Regularly tell him “thank you” for everything he does for our family

I’d love to hear what things are like in your household. What stressors does dad face? What are some effective ways to eliminate these stressors or, for those that can’t be eliminated, to manage the stress they cause?

Shared at the following:

Encouraging Hearts and Home, Over the Moon, and Busy Monday.