Hospitality in an Imperfect Home

About two weeks ago, we got a phone call from my husband’s cousin and his wife. They were letting us know that they were on their way to our house (they live in Louisiana and were evacuating because of Hurricane Ida). Once my kids went to bed, I jumped into action: I quickly wiped down the bathroom, I made sure clean towels were available, I made sure the path from the entryway to the hall outside the bedrooms wasn’t strewn with toys, etc. At one point, as I walked through the living room, I noticed one of the letters that helps spell “HOME” across the top of our mantel was tipped on its side.

When I saw that “O,” I immediately thought that it was a fitting symbol of my household as we attempt to practice hospitality. Hospitality has never come naturally to me. When my husband and I were first married, we lived in an older townhome. I used to worry about how it looked, how small it was, and what guests would think of our mismatched furniture and dishes. As I worked through these concerns, I wrote a post about how to practice hospitality in a less-than-perfect house. We live in a newer, larger home now, but I still worry. I worry that I’ll forget to offer my guests something to drink, that I’ll prepare food they don’t like, and that my kids (who think anyone who steps through our door is there specifically to spend time with them) will be seen as an annoyance.

It seems that I’m right where I’ve always been! Therefore, I think it’s time to revisit (and add to) the thoughts I shared in that post about extending hospitality when your home isn’t perfect.

Practicing perfect hospitality in an imperfect home

• Remember that hospitality is about people, not about cooking abilities or home décor. The appearance of my home and the taste of a meal I prepare are far less important than meeting the needs of my guests. Sometimes guests are in my home so we can catch up after not seeing each other for a while. Sometimes they are here for fellowship. Sometimes they are here to find shelter in the storm—figuratively or, in the case of my recent guests, literally. Sometimes they just need a place to spend the night while en route to another destination. Whatever the reasons guests are in my home, they and their needs are of primary importance.
• Keep images of perfect homes in perspective. Perfectly decorated homes are featured on TV shows, in magazines, and on Pinterest because they are noteworthy. If they were typical, they wouldn’t be featured because all of our homes would look like that and we’d be uninterested in viewing yet another perfect house! I believe it’s okay to enjoy looking at these homes and to gain inspiration from them, but I have to remind myself that my home doesn’t have to be perfect in order to be welcoming.
• Embrace the benefits of having simple furniture and a low-maintenance environment. Interestingly, sometimes simple homes that aren’t perfectly decorated make it easier to host guests. This is because it’s easier to focus on guests when you aren’t afraid they will damage pricey or irreplaceable items. Moreover, having fewer furniture pieces and knickknacks means there’s more room for guests to move around comfortably. I used to be concerned about things like mismatched furniture and unusual decorative items, but I’ve found that these can be conversation pieces that generate new topics of discussion with guests.
• Highlight the good instead of trying to cover the bad. Though imperfect homes are normal and allow us to host guests without worrying something will be damaged, this doesn’t mean we have to emphasize the imperfections. Whether it’s a stain on the carpet, scratches on the wall, or chipped dishes, I’ve found that it is better to distract attention away from imperfections than to attempt to cover them because attempts to hide them often draw attention to them. However, emphasizing nice features (by placing a centerpiece on a table, using accent lighting, etc.) often draws the eyes of guests to the nice features of the home.
• Don’t be afraid to be real. If you stop by my house unexpectedly, you will find toys on the floor, laundry sitting in baskets in the living room, and dishes in the sink. This is because I don’t “have it all together.” There’s no reason for me to pretend otherwise! I want to have genuine fellowship with the guests in my home. I want to know them as they truly are and be known by them as I truly am. The best way to do this is to be authentic and to foster an environment where my guests and the members of my household all feel like we can be our true selves.

Whenever I have guests leave, I’m so grateful for the time we had together. If I gave into the insecurities that I sometimes feel, then I would miss out on the laughter, the encouragement, the camaraderie, and the opportunities to bless others that I have each time guests are in my home. Getting over a few insecurities is worth it when this is what I get in exchange!

Do you ever feel insecure about hosting people in your home? What things do you do to build your confidence?

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Busy Monday and Encouraging Hearts and Home.