It feels so good to laugh, especially when you’re having a long week or facing a difficult season. Of course, laughter does a lot more than just elevate your mood. Researchers have found that it provides a number of health benefits, including improved immune function, pain relief, and stress reduction.
Laughing on my own is great, but I’ve noticed that it’s especially nice when my husband and I find reasons to laugh together. We walk away from episodes of laughter feeling connected, relaxed, and pleased with one another. Why is this and how can we integrate more humor into our marriage?
Why humor is good for your marriage
- Humor helps you feel bonded to one another. Certain hormones, including oxytocin, are released when you laugh. Oxytocin is often referred to as the “cuddle hormone” because it creates feelings of connectedness and promotes bonding.
- Humor puts things in perspective. It’s not unusual for petty issues to cause serious conflicts in marriage. However, when you don’t take yourself too seriously, you’re able to look at these issues and laugh at their absurdity. Remember those disagreements about how to fold the towels and squeeze the tube of toothpaste? Humor helps you see that these issues are inconsequential and even comical!
- Humor helps reduce stress levels. Marriage is full of stressful happenings. You have to budget your money, decide who completes which chores, make decisions about how to discipline the kids, etc. It’s no wonder marital discord is so common! Laughter in response to humorous things helps reduce stress by providing a way to release physical and emotional tension. It also causes the release of endorphins that help you feel elated and improve your outlook on life.
- Humor mitigates burnout. It is unfortunate, but common for spouses to experience burnout in marriage. Why? It’s not easy to joyfully complete mundane tasks over and over again, and it can be challenging to work through conflict and maintain good communication with your spouse. Humor provides a mini-getaway from these tasks and helps you recharge, making burnout less likely.
- Humor creates a sense of exclusivity. When you share an inside joke or story with your spouse, it sets the two of you apart from your friends. Go ahead and share a wink or knowing look over dinner—you can bond over this humorous memory that others don’t “get.”
- Humor is fun. You spend more time with your spouse than with anyone else; your lives are merged. Why wouldn’t you want to share fun experiences together? Humor provides everyday opportunities to laugh and have a good time together. This helps make marriage a wonderful experience!
How to integrate more humor into your marriage
There are a number of easy things we can do to incorporate more humor into our marriages.
- Watch a funny movie or TV series
- Play silly board games (by yourselves or with friends)
- Go see a comedian or improv show
- Share funny stories from your childhoods
- Tease each other (about appropriate topics only, not about sensitive topics like weight, jobs, family members, etc.)
- Tell jokes
- Read funny stories
Check out my sources (here and here) to learn more about humor in marriage.
Do you and your spouse laugh together very often? How does this impact your relationship?
Shared at the following:
Monday’s Musings, Titus 2 Tuesday, Tuesday Talk, Coffee and Conversation, From Messes to Messages, and The Art of Homemaking.
You know, my Hubby and I really love to laugh together, too. I’d never considered the benefits of it! Very interesting info.
Hi Jamie,
It’s great to learn that something we enjoy so much is also good for us, isn’t it?
It’s so neat to learn about all these benefits! I love sharing humorous things with my husband, though I laugh more than he does. In fact, many times that I laugh uproariously, it’s because of him-he just says things that I think are quite hilarious many times, even if he doesn’t think they are funny 🙂 We love to play games together, which-like you mention-also provides lighthearted fun and opportunities for laughter. Are you familiar with the comedian Jim Gaffigan? He has lots of kids, so a lot of his comedy revolves around marriage and parenting (especially is book “Dad is Fat”) and it’s pretty funny (and mostly clean, which is nice).
Hi AnneMarie,
I am not familiar with Jim Gaffigan. I will have to look him up. Thanks for the suggestion!
My pleasure!
Laughter is a huge part of my marriage. It would not survive without it. We tend to feel like life is too short to not have fun. Why have fun with friends but not with your spouse? 😉
Yes, Julie, that’s exactly how I feel. Why wouldn’t we laugh with our spouses?
Shannon,
I totally agree with your thoughts here… There’s nothing better (to me) than when my hubby makes me laugh… Great thoughts, and an important reminder that lightening up together is good in oh-so-many ways!
Thanks for sharing this at last week’s Coffee and Conversation – we’ll be featuring it tomorrow!!
Hi Pat,
We definitely need to lighten up! There’s enough heavy things going on outside of our homes–we need to have peace and enjoyment in them.
Thanks for featuring the post!
Mark married me for my humor. I don’t always remember that when feeling grouchy! Great post!
Thanks for stopping by, Sue!
When my husband and I go out together we enjoy listening to comedy skits on Pandora together too.
That sounds fun! Thanks for sharing the idea.