Regardless of how many toys my kids have or how much they mature and no longer need toys designed for babies and young toddlers, they almost always resist the idea of getting rid of their old toys. However, they can’t hang on to all of their toys forever! When it’s time to get rid of some toys, there are a couple of approaches I can take. One is for me to covertly set aside the toys while they are asleep or busy with some other activity. The other is for me to have them help me set aside the toys.
When my kids were younger, I generally used the former approach. It was easy and it meant my kids didn’t get upset because they didn’t realize the toys were going away. As my kids have gotten older, though, this doesn’t work as well because they notice the toys are missing and ask about them. Moreover, they are at ages where they need to understand that sometimes we have to get rid of things. Though it is more challenging for me as a parent, they really need to be involved in the process so they have the skills they need to prioritize and declutter as adults. This means we now use the latter approach.
I’ve been working for a bit of time now to help my kids set aside toys to give away. My goal has been for it to be as easy on them as possible. I can’t say that there haven’t been any moments of frustration or drama, but overall it has been pretty pleasant. Here are the strategies that are helping my kids willingly give away toys.
Helping kids get rid of toys
Explain why the toys need to go
My kids are old enough now that they can understand the whys behind the things we do. Thus, it is helpful to sit down and discuss why we need to get rid of toys. Here are several reasons (they’re not all applicable currently, but all have been applicable at various times in the past couple of years):
- You’ve outgrown some toys. These now take up space but don’t provide any benefit.
- The playroom is cluttered with so many toys that you don’t have room to move around for activities like dance parties and races.
- Some of the toys have broken pieces or missing parts. These can’t be fully enjoyed and could pose a safety risk.
- You have a difficult time finding your favorite toys because they get lost among the toys you don’t play with very often.
- Cleaning up in the evening takes so much time because you have so many toys to put away. If we get rid of some toys, it will be much easier to clean up.
- You are blessed with many toys. Some children don’t have as many toys. They would love to play with some of yours. We can give away the toys you don’t play with very often and they will really brighten other kids’ days!
- Sometimes having less is good for us! We’re often able to focus more easily and be more creative when we have fewer toys.
Don’t throw things away (unless they are broken or unusable)
My kids are very interested in recycling and doing other things that benefit the environment. They would be terribly bothered if we threw away toys instead of repurposing them. Additionally, seeing an old toy in the trash would be difficult for them because trash is dirty, unwanted, etc. Giving things away, on the other hand, isn’t so difficult because they know someone else will love and cherish the toys. Of course, if a toy is broken or can’t be used because it is missing pieces or has a critical component that doesn’t work, then we put it in the trash. However, we give away or sell everything else. My kids are much more motivated to give things away than they would be to throw things away. I also prefer this approach because it benefits other families in our community.
Make it fun
Decluttering doesn’t have to be grim and somber! I do what I can to make it fun for my kids. We have competitions to see who can find something to get rid of in the next 60 seconds. We’ll also make up stories (something my older kids are very good at) about the adventures the toys we are giving away are about to go on. Little things like these activities help enliven the decluttering process.
Give them time
Sometimes the prospect of getting rid of a particular item can be difficult for my kids to process. However, when given a couple of days to think on it, they realize that they don’t play with the toy very often or that they are ready to get rid of the item in order to make way for toys that are better suited for their current interests and abilities. Simply giving them a little time can help them come to these conclusions and motivate them to set the toy aside.
Take pictures so you can remember special toys
My eldest daughter is very concerned that she will forget about toys that were special to her (and just about every toy is special to her). One thing that has been helpful with her is taking photos of the toys so she’ll have the pictures as reminders. We do this with her drawings and a couple of months after we take the photos she’s usually ready to delete them—she no longer feels a sentimental attachment to the drawings. I imagine the same will be true of the toys. In the meanwhile, having photos of the toys reassures her that she’ll be able to remember them, so she feels comfortable giving the toys away.
Reduce how many toys they have in the first place
One of the best ways to avoid having excess toys sitting around is to not acquire the toys to begin with. I realize that this is easier said than done, but it is worth putting some thought and effort into. For example, sometimes my kids get dinky toys (rubber ducks, toy jewelry, little cars, etc.) as prizes at the library or as party favors. These always end up stuffed in the back of a closet or in the bottom of a drawer. I don’t want this to happen, so I keep track of these toys and as soon as my kids lose interest (which usually happens quickly given the nature of the toys), we get rid of them. Another thing we do is to limit how many toys we give them for birthdays and Christmases. We always give them gifts (and some are toys), but we’re sure to give them plenty of non-toy items including books, art supplies, and clothes.
Final thoughts
Though these strategies haven’t made the process of getting rid of toys a favorite activity around here, they have made it easier (it’s not something I loathe any longer). My kids are choosing which toys to keep and which to get rid of, and they’re comfortable with their choices. The ability to declutter in this way will benefit them for years to come!
How do you go about getting rid of toys in your house? Is this process easy or difficult on your kids? Please share any tips you have for getting kids involved in this and making it as pleasant as possible.
Great tips! Decluttering is a life-long process and helping our kids learn how to navigate it early on will help them later in life!
One thing that helped in our house was to show child(ren) the space available for their things. I would say “This space (shelf, bin, etc.) is all the room we have for (dolls, games, art supplies, etc) so choose your favorites to put in there first. You can add any more that will fit. The rest we will donate or pass on to someone who can use them.
I like that idea, Linda! It really helps explain the “why” behind the need to get rid of some toys.
Thank you for these ideas! It’s amazing how quickly the toys multiply over here. When we do declutter, we typically focus on the broken and unfixable items (with two boys, something always manages to get broken haha) and then try to find toys that they don’t play with much, and talk about how “other boys and girls can play with them” (like you noted above). That’s seemed to work so far, which is nice. Actually, we once took a bunch of stuff to donate at a store and then went into the store to look at baby clothes, and while we were still there, the kids noticed that the store’s volunteers had already put their old toys on the sale shelf–it was a neat visual reinforcement that other boys and girls could now enjoy their old toys.
How neat that they got to see the toys being put out for sale! I imagine that they’ll remember that when it is time to take in another load of toys.