How to Institute a Rest Time When Young Kids Stop Napping

Around the age of 3 or 4 years, most kids stop taking an afternoon nap. The cessation of naps is often difficult on kids and on their parents.

It’s difficult for kids because many of them aren’t ready to give up the nap entirely. They may not need a long nap, but they still need a brief period of sleep or a time of quiet rest (while they’re awake) in order to keep from becoming overstimulated and having a difficult time settling down at night. It’s difficult on parents because we lose the break from our kids and the opportunity to rest or get a few things done.

A helpful step to take when children stop napping is to institute a “rest time” or “quiet time” during which they continue to have a period of rest in a calm, quiet environment each afternoon. Depending on your child and your family, this period may be as short as 20 minutes or as long as an hour.

There are lots of different ways to institute and structure a rest time or quiet time. I’m going to describe what rest time looks like in my house and how I went about instituting it.

What happens during rest time?

During rest time, my preschooler sits on her bed and plays quietly in her dimly lit room for about an hour. Though she doesn’t have to sleep, I do require her to stay on her bed. I encourage her to lay down and close her eyes if she feels tired, but she is only tired enough to do this a couple days each week. When rest time begins each day, I help her select books and an item or two from her “rest time” toys. She takes these up on the bed and plays with them until I come get her or until she grows tired and pushes them aside in order to lay down and nap.

Our rest time toys, which are reserved for use during rest time only, are a variety of small toys that my preschooler can play with independently (puzzles, building toys, etc.). They don’t make noise or light up. I’ll share a post next week about what toys have worked well for us during rest time.

How to institute rest time

In my opinion, it is easiest to institute rest time before your child stops napping. If your child has already stopped napping and is used to being up and playing all afternoon, it is going to be a challenge to get him to go back in his room and play in quiet solitude. This doesn’t mean it’s impossible, though. I’ll describe how to institute rest time for a child who still naps first and then I’ll provide some suggestions for what to do if your child has already stopped napping.

I first introduced the rest time concept when my oldest child was 2 years old. At this point, she was taking longer and longer to fall asleep at nap. I acquired some rest time toys (see my note about these above) and explained to her that she would get to play with these during the rest time she would have before nap. Notice I used the phrase “get to play with these.” I didn’t tell her she “needed” or “had” to play with these. I talked it up and helped her understand that this was an exciting privilege because she was growing older.

I explained to her my expectations (she must stay on the bed, she must not make loud noises, etc.) and we began with short periods of rest time. The first rest time was only about 3 minutes long. When she handled this okay, we moved on to 5 and then 10 minutes. Because she was still napping at this time, I would go into her room when rest time was over and put the toys away. I’d pull her curtain closed (it was open while she played to let in a little light) and then she’d take her nap. However, as her rest times grew longer and her naps grew shorter, I simply told her to set the toys aside and lay down to sleep when she got tired (this was more convenient because I no longer needed to go into her room during her rest time/nap). In the year that has passed since I first instituted rest time, her naps have nearly ceased and rest time has taken their place.

Let me be clear that this process has not been without hiccups. There are days when my daughter gets off her bed and tries to bounce around. There are days when she doesn’t want to play with her rest time toys so she fusses and asks to come out of her room. There are days when she grows noisy. If she gets off the bed for a couple of minutes, but gets back on quickly without making a bunch of noise, I ignore the behavior. This is because, like most other kids her age, she learns quickly. She will figure out that an easy way to get me to come to her is to simply get off the bed. I won’t play this game with her, so I usually only intervene if she begins running around, jumping, being noisy, or tries something like throwing a toy. When these sorts of things happen, I go correct her and quickly leave. I don’t dally because my presence in the room defeats the purpose of rest time.

If your child has already stopped napping, then I suggest you explain to him that you are going to begin having a rest time. Clearly explain to your child your expectations (he must stay in his room, he must not come out and ask for a snack, he must be quiet, etc.). I would involve him in choosing some rest time toys so he grows excited about playing with these. Along with the toys, I would get a timer.

Once you have these items, remind your child of your expectations and then start having short rest times. Set the timer for 5 minutes and have a 5 minute rest time on the first day. If this works, then extend the time to 10 minutes on the second day and so forth until you reach your desired length of time. It is probably inevitable that your child will do things like make too much noise, run around, try to get out of his room, etc. The key to overcoming these behaviors is consistency. If it’s really important to you that your child have this rest time and that you have some downtime while he or she rests, then take misbehavior during rest time seriously and be consistent.

What if an older sibling and younger sibling share a room?

If you have children who share a room, then rest time can be especially tricky. My 3-year-old and my 19-month-old share a room. My 19-month-old still naps, but she isn’t going to fall asleep if big sister is in the room having rest time. The only solution I have found is to move one of the girls to another room during this time.

We leave my 3-year-old in her bedroom for rest time. I place my 19-month-old in another bedroom so she can nap. She still spends her nights in the room that she and my 3-year-old share. When she starts having rest time instead of napping, then both girls can play on their beds in the same room. You will have to consider what space you have available (a spare bedroom, a den, etc.) in order to figure out if separating siblings during rest time/nap time is feasible. You may need to have your older child or children have rest time in the living room or another common area of the house.

Miscellaneous tips

Here are some miscellaneous tips that may help you as you institute rest time in your home.

• Make sure all dressers, bookshelves, etc. in your child’s room are anchored to walls. Because your child will be alone in the room, you may not notice right away if he gets out of bed and attempts to climb up a dresser. To avoid injury, make sure large furniture items are anchored appropriately! This should be done whether or not you are instituting a rest time.
• Allow your child to take a cup of water or a water bottle into his room. Your child may not rest and may come out of the room due to thirst if he doesn’t have access to water.
• Use the potty before rest time. If your child is potty trained, then be sure to have him sit on the potty before rest time. This way you avoid potty-related interruptions during rest time.
• Supervise via a baby monitor. Even though my preschooler isn’t a “baby” any longer, we still use a baby monitor to keep an eye on her at night and during rest time. We picked up a video monitor for a reasonable price at a local children’s consignment store. I love it! You can use one of these if you have one. If not, audio monitors, which tend to be pretty affordable, are also very helpful (we used this one before getting the video monitor).

Final thoughts

It’s taken some effort, but I’m so glad my preschooler has rest time each afternoon. She benefits from the rest and I benefit from the break. I’m with my kids all day, every day and sometimes I need a few minutes to put my feet up and relax! Rest time provides this, so I’m able to face the remainder of the day with enthusiasm and renewed patience. Be sure to join me next week when I share about the toys we use during rest time!

Do you have kids who no longer nap? Do they have a rest time? If so, then please share about how you make this work in your home.

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Modest Monday.