Names Are Gifts We Give to Our Children

Are names merely indiscriminate titles that help us know when someone is speaking to us or is there more to it? I believe the latter, specifically that names have the power to shape our lives in significant ways.

We see examples of this in Scripture. Though names sometimes recorded an aspect of a child’s birth (see Esau and Jacob in Genesis 25:24-26) or expressed a parent’s reaction to the birth (see Isaac in Genesis 21:6), they were often given or even changed in order to communicate a message from God, explain a person’s significance, or indicate a new beginning/direction in a person’s life. Here are some examples:

• Adam, the name given to the first man, means “man” (this name is also a word play on the Hebrew word ‘adamah meaning “ground,” the substance from which God formed Adam).
• God changed the name of Abram (meaning “high father”) to Abraham (meaning “father of many”) when God promised to make him the father of many nations.
• David (meaning “beloved”) was Israel’s favorite king. Moreover, he is identified in Scripture as a man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14, Acts 13:22).
• Jesus (meaning “YAHWEH is salvation”) was the name God told Mary to give to the Son of God (Luke 1:26-35).
• God changed the name of Saul (a Hebrew name meaning “asked for, prayed for”) to Paul (a Roman family name meaning “small” or “humble”) when God called him to be a missionary to the gentiles.

If names are so significant, then how should we go about choosing one for a child?

Things to consider when choosing a name for your child

• Popularity. Whether they’re perennial favorites like Isabella and William or trendy names like Ava and Aiden, certain names are popular during certain years. If you name your child one of these names, he or she will likely have numerous peers who share his or her name. This isn’t necessarily good or bad, you just have to decide whether you prefer for this to be the case for your child.
• Namesakes. Many parents name their children after individuals like beloved family members, admirable historical figures, or Bible characters. This can be very meaningful for the family and the children. Personally, I think this is a profound and perfectly reasonable approach as long as parents like a particular name, feel it is appropriate for their child, and the namesake had or has qualities worthy of emulation.
• Initials. Some name combinations create awkward or embarrassing initials. Peter Mitchell Smith is a nice name, but his initials would be PMS. Isabell Lindsay Long in a nice name, but her initials would be ILL. Awkward initials don’t bother some folks, but if it bothers you or you think it will bother your child, then consider the initials before selecting a name.
• Spelling and pronunciation. Some names are difficult to spell and/or pronounce (Siobhan, Xanthe, Giang, Sinead, Isla, etc.). These names aren’t difficult for everyone to spell or pronounce, they are just unfamiliar to many individuals who grew up speaking English. I wouldn’t avoid using these names (in fact, as I’ll share shortly, I’ve given my kids names that are often mispronounced), as long as you don’t mind correcting how people pronounce and spell the names and you don’t mind encumbering your child with this same task. However, if I were to choose a common name, my personal preference would be to avoid spelling it in an unusual way (Vyolette instead of Violet, Mykel instead of Michael, R’Chee instead of Archie, etc.).
• Meaning. Nearly every name (unless it is something you made up) has a meaning. Some names have wonderful meanings (Hannah means “favor” or “grace,” Theodore means “gift of God,” etc.), while other names have not-so-wonderful meanings (Claudia means “lame” or “crippled,” Cameron means “crooked nose,” etc.). Some parents feel that the meaning of a name is irrelevant, but others want to avoid applying a name with a poor meaning to their child. This is a significant thing you must consider when choosing a name.
• Perception. I do not believe that the focus of our lives should be how the men and women around us perceive us. However, researchers have found that the way we are perceived by others can impact important things like academic and career success. Researchers, studying phonemic components, have found that individuals with “poor-sounding” names are more likely to have low self-esteem and do poorly in school. Likewise, individuals with “black-sounding” names may be less likely to get called for job interviews than individuals with “white-sounding” names. You see stereotypes at work here, but also a concept called the “looking-glass self” (the belief that our understanding of ourselves comes from observing how others perceive us). All of this research (you can read more here and here) makes a compelling case for being thoughtful about how we name our kids.

My husband and I have three daughters. We focused primarily on meaning when we chose their names. We wanted to give them names that communicated some of what they meant to us and some of our hopes for their futures. Their first names are Amaris (the feminine form of the Hebrew name Amariah meaning “YAHWEH has said” or “God has promised”), Nitara (a name derived from Sanskrit meaning “having deep roots”), and Gilana (a name of Hebrew origin meaning “joy”). Their names are uncommon and do get mispronounced/misspelled frequently; however, they are beautiful and we believe each name suits the girl to whom we gave it.

Though I don’t believe that our names define us or set an indelible course for our lives, they do help shape us. This is because the names we give our children aren’t just words we holler to bring them to the dinner table. Their names are the first way we impart identity to them, helping them understand who they are and who they can become. Thus, naming is one of the great privileges—and responsibilities—given to parents.

What are your thoughts on choosing names for your kids? How did you go about choosing names? What things did you consider?

Shared at the following:

Encouraging Hearts and Home, Busy Monday, and Thursday Favorite Things.