My husband and I live far from both of our families. This isn’t ideal for a number of reasons, especially now that we have a child. We’re having to come up with creative ways to help our daughter get to know her relatives, especially her grandparents.
Caring, attentive grandparents are incredibly valuable to children. In fact, they can meet needs and provide benefits in ways that parents can’t.
Why grandparents are important
- Grandparents make grandkids feel special by spoiling them a little. Unlike parents, grandparents don’t have to worry about providing structure and being disciplinarians. Thus, they can spoil kids a bit by giving them gifts, allowing them to stay up late, and sneaking cookies to them before dinner. A little bit of this spoiling won’t make kids rotten. On the contrary, it makes the grandparent-grandchild relationship unique and creates memories that both parties will cherish for the rest of their lives.
- Grandparents connect grandkids to their history. Grandparents can often share genealogical information with their grandkids. Moreover, they can pass along stories, time-honored traditions, and family recipes. This provides grandkids with a sense of belonging and continuity.
- Grandparents pass along new knowledge to their grandkids. All grandparents have real life experience they can share with their grandkids. Much of this knowledge can’t be learned from a textbook! Additionally, grandparents have hobbies, interests, and skills that they can introduce to their grandkids. These lessons will stick with grandkids and benefit them throughout their lives.
- Grandparents make great confidants. Sometimes children feel more comfortable opening up and sharing with their grandparents because they feel that their grandparents will be understanding and not condemn their feelings or concerns. Subsequently, grandparents have the opportunity to influence their grandkids to make good decisions. Grandparents are well suited for this because they have a lot of experience and hindsight!
- Grandparents give their grandkids undivided attention. Parents can be so busy with soccer practice carpools, the PTA, laundry, bake sales, dinner, and other activities that they aren’t able to give each of their children as much undivided attention as they’d like. Grandparents often have less demanding schedules and fewer obligations, so they can give undivided time and attention to their grandkids. This benefits kids because they often function better in less harried environments and quality time with their grandparents helps them feel loved.
- Grandparents encourage the spiritual growth of their grandkids. Grandparents are among the older men and older women mentioned in the second chapter of Titus. In this passage, they are instructed to urge and teach younger individuals to do good. Grandparents can carry out this instruction and diligently pray for their grandkids. They can also commend God’s works to the younger generation (Psalm 145:4).
In a perfect world, all of our children would have frequent interactions with caring grandparents. We don’t live in a perfect world, though, so many of us face situations where this doesn’t happen. You may live far from your parents like we do or you may face other situations (your parents are deceased, you’re estranged from your parents, etc.) that make these relationships impossible. If this is the case, then look around your church or community for opportunities to interact with older adults. There are so many who would love to act as honorary grandparents for your kiddos!
Do your kids have special relationships with their grandparents? What are some other reasons why grandparents are important?
Shared on the following link-ups:
Coffee and Conversation, WholeHearted Wednesday, Titus 2sday, Titus 2 Tuesday, Living Proverbs 31, Motivation Monday, Making Your Home Sing, Weekend Wind Down, Saturday Soiree & Shine Blog Hop.
Great points. I love your list of grandparent benefits–I am a grandmother! I have a granddaughter (18 months) that lives 14 hours away by car. So we take trips to spend time together and we use FaceTime.
Five more grandchildren live fairly close. I spent a lovely afternoon/evening with them yesterday. Our relationship gives me joy and keeps me young!
Hi Carol,
How wonderful to have so many of your grandkids nearby! I think FaceTime (and similar programs) are great for staying in contact with your one grandchild who lives far away.
I completely agree, Grandparents are so important in a child’s life! My Grandmother is 94 and still the most influential woman in my life.
Our family situation is a bit of a mess right now, and I really regret the impact it is having on my daughter’s relationship with her Grandparents (I wrote a post on the value of Grandparents too if interested). They can be so much to a child.
What wonderful praise for your grandmother!
I hope things get better for your family so your daughter can have a great relationship with her grandparents.
This post is so true! I loved my grandparents dearly but rarely got to see them as a child. I am so grateful that just before the birth of my daughter my mom was able to move from another state. Being able to watch their relationship grow each day is such a beautiful thing.
We do make an effort to Skype and Facetime a few times a month with her other grandparents, which is one blessing of technology these days! She recognizes them, and that wouldn’t be the case if she was just hearing them over the phone! It’s wonderful to be able to show them visually what she’s doing these days :]
Hi Katy,
We are very grateful for Skype, too. This is really the only way may daughter’s grandparents can see her on a regular basis.
We are blessed to live near my parents. I was never able to live close to mine, and I love watching the close relationship my children are developing with my parents.
Hi Jennifer,
I wasn’t very close to my grandparents when I was growing up. We lived nearby, but didn’t have very close relationships. I, too, love watching my little one get to know her grandparents and am happy that she will be close to them (emotionally, if not physically).
I love this list! My grandmother was one of my biggest influences growing up. I looked up to her as a second mother and don’t even want to know who I would have been if I hadn’t had her guidance. This is why I’m reluctant to move away, even though we may be able to get better jobs elsewhere. I want my daughter to have that kind of relationship with her grandparents.
#SHINE
What a wonderful woman your grandmother must be, Brandyn. Wherever you live, I hope your daughter does have that sort of relationship with her grandparents. 🙂
You are so right with all these points. We live close to my parents, and luckily my in-laws come visit often, so our daughter knows them all very well. So glad we have technology like Skype these days!
Thanks for sharing on the Shine Blog Hop!
Yes, I’m so grateful for technology! That’s wonderful that your daughter has had the opportunity to get to know both sets of grandparents so well.
Grammie here! I have two beautiful grandchildren and I must admit, I never thought it would be this wonderful. I live an hour from them and at times it seems to far away, but when I hear of others even further, I stop complaining. There is nothing like it. I get to love on them, spoil them, make them feel special and make tons of memories. My blog actually came about because of them. Do whatever you can to keep them connected.
Hi Michelle,
You’ve made me all the more determined to make sure my daughter (and any other kiddos we are blessed with) get to know their grandparents well.
Before my daughter was born, her Grandfathers had both passed away. One Grandmother lived in another country, and we discovered that the remaining Grandmother was probably terminally ill (she since passed away). So – when we chose Godparents, we kept in mind our daughter’s need for Grandparent figures, and chose very close friends who could fill that role. They have been a huge Blessing to her and to us! : )
I’m so glad you found a way to make sure she has grandparent figures!
We have never lived close to my parents and our children have only seen them about once a year. It is incredible how close they feel to them despite the distance. Our oldest son and his wife and baby traveled to see them last Thanksgiving and my youngest daughter hopes to visit them sometime this summer. Now that they are getting very old, they still hold such a special place in each of our hearts because of the times we spent through the years building relationships with them.
That’s awesome, Judith.