My husband and I have reflected several times over the last few weeks about how the COVID-19 pandemic has placed a magnifying glass over numerous issues we have in our society. The pandemic hasn’t caused these issues, but it certainly has highlighted them. Among these issues is the way Americans perceive and treat our elderly.
COVID-19 is more deadly for elderly individuals than for younger individuals. This is no surprise given the nature of the illness. As it has killed tens of thousands of Americans, many of whom lived in nursing homes, we’ve seen over and over again how little concern Americans as a whole have for our elderly. Here are three examples:
- Scores of nursing homes have been ravaged by this disease. Though it was inevitable that some individuals in nursing homes (and other long-term care facilities) would contract and die from COVID-19, most of the facilities with the worst clusters have long records of poor performance. In fact, many have been fined in the past by regulatory agencies for things such as having too few staff onsite to safely care for patients, staff failing to change residents’ urine-soaked sheets, staff failing to disinfect equipment used for multiple patients, and even for patients getting maggots in their feeding tubes because they weren’t properly cared for. These revelations raise numerous important questions. For example, why are standards for nursing homes so low to begin with? Why are facilities fined for infractions, but they are given so long to make improvements? Why don’t regulators watch them closely to make sure the infractions aren’t committed again? Check out the following articles to see details on what I’ve described here.
- Poor Patient Care at Many Nursing Homes Despite Stricter Oversight
- Inside the Troubled Nursing Home Where 70 Died and Body Bags Piled Up
- Coronavirus is Attacking Nursing Homes with Poor Infection Track Records in L.A. County
- Hundreds of Nursing Homes with Cases of Coronavirus Have Violated Federal Infection-Control Rules in Recent Years
- Inside Nursing Homes, Coronavirus Brings Isolation and 7,300 Deaths
- Numerous political leaders have indicated that we must protect the economy (by getting everyone out working again) even if this means endangering the lives of Americans, especially the seniors among us who are most at risk.
- Despite providing care for some of the most vulnerable in our society, nursing homes consistently pay their staff less than they would get paid in similar positions in facilities like hospitals. Likewise, when PPE became difficult to acquire because of the pandemic, nursing homes were not high on the priority list to receive allotments.
These realities haven’t been caused by COVID-19; the disease has simply brought them to light. In fact, when leaders from national aging organizations gathered back in 2012, they identified the following as Americans’ core beliefs about aging (source):
- Aging = decline. Most Americans believe that loss of control and deterioration are inevitable as one ages.
- Older adults are seen as “other.” Many Americans compartmentalize older individuals away from the rest of society.
- Older adults are accountable for their circumstances. Consistent with the American cultural belief that each individual is responsible for his or her circumstances, most Americans believe that older adults are culpable for their current health and financial states. In other words, they believe that older adults would not suffer illness or disability if they had taken care of themselves and that they would not face financial hardships if they had worked harder during their younger years.
Why don’t Americans value older adults?
After reading all of this, it’s clear that Americans as a collective unit don’t place high value on the older adults among us. Why is this? I don’t know all of the factors that contribute to this, but here are a few.
- Americans love youth. Americans don’t see gray hair as a sign of wisdom or a crown of glory (Psalm 16:31). We don’t view wrinkles as a badge of honor. We don’t view older individuals as an important source of knowledge and as contributing members of our communities. Instead we spend billions of dollars annually on plastic surgery and anti-aging products. We celebrate young activists (for example, Malala Yousafzai and Greta Thunberg) and those who achieve great things at young ages (for example, earned an MBA by age 21 or became a CEO at age 24). We relegate our elderly to nursing homes and view them as a drain on society’s resources.
- Americans are uncomfortable with death. I don’t know anyone who likes to think and/or talk about dying. Even for those of us whose faith assures us of what awaits us in eternity, it is uncomfortable to contemplate death. I believe one reason we don’t embrace aging as a society is because of its indelible link with death.
- Americans are selfish. Selfishness is part of human nature. The instinct to protect ourselves and get what is best for ourselves is universal. This instinct is tempered in many cultures because they are collectivist (i.e., they value personal interdependence over independence). However, the United States definitely has an individualist culture (i.e., we value personal independence over interdependence), so it is more difficult to temper this natural instinct. Unfortunately, what is best for ourselves often isn’t what is best for our parents and grandparents. For example, most Americans want to pay less in taxes because it would be better for them to have this money for their own use. However, without this tax money, how would we fund Social Security and Medicare for our older citizens? Likewise, many Americans find it easier to delegate care for their older relatives to assisted living facilities and nursing homes instead of providing this themselves. Please note that I’m not pointing a judgmental finger here. There are times when loved ones need care that we cannot provide in our homes. This is currently the case with my husband’s grandmother. She has Alzheimer’s and needs professional care. However, there are many times when older loved ones could remain at home with assistance that we are able to provide, but we’d rather not be inconvenienced so we choose to place them in congregate living settings.
- Americans misunderstand aging and the aged. Many of us think of “aging” as something that is happening to older individuals. We don’t think of ourselves as aging, but all of us are! Because we value youth so much, we often don’t realize that aging is not synonymous with disease and disability. In reality, older adults are integral parts of society, making a significant economic and social impact on America and the world. It is true that older adults tend to experience health problems, but it is important that we not view these as comeuppance for choices made earlier in life. Many diseases cannot be prevented by being active, eating right, and avoiding things like tobacco and excessive alcohol. Because we tend to see older adults as “other,” we often paint them with the same brush. We assume that older individuals are cranky, opinionated, fragile, and unable or unwilling to learn new things. These are stereotypes, and they are just as harmful to older adults as they are to any other population.
Next steps
“Final thoughts” is usually the heading I use at the end of a post like this. However, I don’t feel like there is any finality associated with this post. There are so many more things I’d like to say and so many beneficial tangents we could explore and discuss. We don’t have time for this today, but I hope what I’ve shared here is challenging you to examine your own thoughts about aging and the older members of our society.
Do you feel that our society values its older members? Why or why not? What things do you do personally to show your care and concern for the older adults in your life?
Shared at the following:
Encouraging Hearts and Home, Over the Moon, and Busy Monday.
I love this post, Shannon-it’s such an important topic. When I was in college, for a couple semesters I was active with the school’s “nursing home ministry” downtown. While I heard that another nursing home, visited on a different day of the week by students, was really nice, the one that I regularly went to was AWFUL. The staff didn’t seem to care much about being there (they’d often just sit in the corner and chat with each other), the residents were relegated to sitting around under fluorescent lights in a drab common room, and when we wanted to play a board game with one resident, the copy available didn’t even have all the pieces. It was really sad, and seeing the uninspiring environment there helped motivate me to go visit with the residents.
I think it’s interesting you make the point about “American’s love youth” as contributing to all of this-I hadn’t thought of that, and it makes a lot of sense. I wonder, too, if that’s part of the reason behind the anxiety and panic that young people go through (myself included) to do important things ASAP. We are always seeing examples lifted up of people doing extraordinary things at a very young age, but that doesn’t seem to be tempered with a reminder that we can STILL do great things once we’re 40, 50, and older than that-and furthermore, that our lives have more value than the things we accomplish.
On a final note, have you heard of the movie The Farewell? I watched it about a month or so ago on Amazon Prime, and it was interesting. Semi-autobiographical, the movie follows a young Chinese-American woman as she travels to China to visit her dying grandma (the whole family, much to her dismay, is refusing to tell her grandma that she’s dying and lie to make her think that she’s in good health). There’s some interesting scenes in the movie where the characters flesh out the difference between Eastern and Western ideologies-the main character is very independent, but the Chinese family members (while still being independent people in their own right) place a high value on the interconnectedness of people in society and on bearing burdens for their elders. While I didn’t personally agree with the whole “lie to grandma” plot, I thought the movie had a lot of interesting points to make and it was neat to see the East-West differences fleshed out.
That sounds like a great ministry, AnneMarie. It sounds like the nursing home you visited was a good example of what I’m talking about here. Good point about the anxiety and panic that young people feel about getting it all done right now. This is common, I think.
I’ll have to look into that movie.
HI Shannon!
I have been in a Bible Study Group for 10 years. They are 20-30 years younger than I am. Because of health issues my Husband has, I tried to leave the group last October. They were adamant they needed my wisdom (what?), contributions to the group (really?), and we have been together for so long we can’t quit being Sisters in Faith.
I think this group is amazing and I am continuing!
This is awesome, Carol. I love that you’re able to share this experience that illustrates that there are many who do value seniors and their contributions. I have no doubt that you do have much wisdom to share!
We are very, very blessed in our church that older adults are given great value. Our pastor, who is closing in on 60, has been picking up the older folks and bringing them to church since he was a teenage brand new member of the church. While he preaches on a great variety of topics and almost always centers on the gospel of God’s sovereign salvation of His people by the death, burial, and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, we can all expect to hear a couple times a year a sermon on honoring our parents and how we as children are to “requite” them (I Timothy 5:4) or care for them in their hour of need the way they cared for us in our hour of need. He even goes into the practical implications that our parents fed us when we were unable to feed ourselves, changed our diapers when we needed it, etc. he also lives this out- when no other relatives were willing to care for his widowed grandmother, he moved her halfway across the country to live with him and took care of her until she passed away. We are sadly unable to support him financially full time in our relatively small congregation, so for a secular vocation, he buys assisted livings with problems such as you describe, and rehabilitates them so that the patients’ care improves. Many church members have worked for him or been cared for when they have a need.
As a result of all this, our church has
1. A strong ministry among the elderly (our oldest member is about to turn 104!)
2. Many members who take care of their elderly themselves (I’m not sure I know of any who would be able to receive care at home and are not)
3. A strong support system for those who are caring for elderly relatives (both our pastor and many members have BEEN THERE and know it has challenges just as caring for young children has challenges.)
For this reason, I have been shocked by the lack of regard for the elderly when I have interacted outside of our congregation. (I’ve attended this church all my life, so it’s only been in recent years I’ve noticed this.) To be fair, I do think some of the calls for the economy to reopen and the government to step back its restrictions are due to valid concerns related to the effect on life and health for ALL, including the elderly (government overreach has historically been used to usher in totalitarianism which is clearly associated with a loss of life and of quality of life as well, including notably assisted suicide and euthanasia for the elderly; a depressed economy of course means more struggling to put food and/or nutritious food on the table, as well as pay for medical care.) But what I personally have seen is that the standard of care for my relatives who are NOT being cared for by those in our congregation is definitely significantly lower by comparison! And I realized after some time of observing this, that my caretaker relatives outside of our congregation simply don’t have the same education and support system that we are so very blessed to have. So I share this, not only because I’m so thankful for what we have, but because this perhaps is a path to “next steps.” Christians need to be educated on what the Biblical view of the elderly is, and people in general need to be educated on how to care for parents as parents cared for children (which is the Biblical model, but it would require different language for someone who is not interested in doing something because the Bible says so.) I also think that support is key!
I’m glad that you are beginning this step by sharing how we ought to view the elderly!
Thanks so much for taking the time to share all of this, Kathryn! It’s so wonderful that your church is committed to serving everyone, regardless of age. I agree that we (as Americans in general) need more education regarding the Biblical perspective on aging and in practical aspects of how to care for aging relatives. As you say, support is also needed.
I’ve said to my husband many times that opening the economy vs. protecting the elderly (and other vulnerable individuals) is not an either/or scenario. Based on my own background in public health and the things I read from various experts I follow, I think it could be a both/and situation if handled correctly. This isn’t the place for me to expand upon all of this, but there are ways to do both. It just requires resources and effort.
Anyway, you’ve shared some valuable things for all of us as we look to the “next steps.” Thanks again!
we don’t at the moment… it’s as if we have no worth if we’re not working and spending lots of money. It all comes down to money really… but ironically a lot of older people have saved and have money and time to use it.
There is much wisdom in having lived a long life, but younger people don’t want to hear it so they discount it as invalid. Sad sad.
I was just last night talking about why covid attacks older humans and dh said kids are testing positive for it too, spreading it, but not showing symptoms….
There is much wisdom that older individuals have gained over their lives! This is one reason I love when my kids get to spend time with their grandparents. They can teach my kids things that I can’t.
Interesting insights about the role money may play. Thanks for sharing!
Yes to everything you wrote, Shannon. I think one of the reasons we don’t value older people is that it is hard to empathize. Unless you are an older person (I am in my 60s), you have never been where I am in life but I have been where you are.
We seem to be more and more in an “every man for himself” mindset, which I find disturbing. This outlook seems to go against the very essence of Christian ethics.
I know lots of vital, energetic, intelligent seniors, including a friend in her 80s who ran the Athens marathon last year, cheered on by her husband, who is 90.
Thanks for this thoughtful post. I will be sharing.
Good point about empathy, Laurie. It is definitely hard for younger people to “walk a mile in their shoes” in regards to older individuals.
I agree that the mindset of “every man for himself” is troubling and not in tune with the Bible. This has long been part of American culture (I believe “rugged individualism” is a term I’ve heard used to describe this). As Christians, we are called to be interdependent and look to the needs of others. We need to make sure we are applying this to all aspects of our lives, not just when it is convenient!
All three of my grandparents ended up in different nursing homes and it was amazing to see the difference in care between some of the “best” and some of the “worst.” Sadly, in our area there is a real shortage of nursing homes and many elderly are put on wait lists so their families often put them into whichever one has an opening; even if they aren’t the greatest. The only way I felt I could help was to visit often and bring my boys along with me. We hoped it brightened the day of my grandparents and those visits allowed me to be an advocate for them to make sure they were clean, being taken care of properly, and getting out of their rooms regularly. Now with all that is going on we aren’t allowed to visit for any reason and while my grandparents have all passed we do have a few members in these homes right now and I worry not only about their care but their mental health as they feel shut off from the world and left behind; many who suffer from dementia or Alzheimer not even remembering there is a pandemic and asking constantly why no one is visiting them. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with us at Encouraging Hearts and Home. Pinned.
There are significant differences between the best and worst facilities, Joanne. I’m glad you said this because I do want to emphasize (and I should have done a better job of this in the post) that there are some wonderful nursing homes out there. Likewise, there are many dedicated staff members who do amazing jobs caring for their residents.
Nevertheless, the worst ones are often really bad. As you’ve described here, visiting is essential. It makes a huge difference! It is really the only way we can advocate for loved ones and make reports if we see something isn’t being done correctly.
It is very difficult right now with residents and loved ones being cut off because of restrictions on visitation. I don’t know that we can avoid this if we are going to keep our older loved ones safe, but it is a significant and heartbreaking challenge.
Your post from EHH link up really caught my eye! I am a retired ALF Administrator and I can tell you it is not just a problem we can label the problem of our society. Because we all make up our society. I know I don’t know all the answers. One small start we all can take is to realize how we treat Seniors, is how we will be treated as Seniors…
Yes, individuals collectively make up society, so the problem stems from the attitudes and behaviors of individuals.
I suppose it is likely that we will one day be treated in a similar manner to how we treat today’s seniors. I think this is why it is important to change our individual and collective perspectives on aging and the value of elders.
Such an important topic, pinned to share further. Thank you for sharing with Encouraging Hearts and Home! Have a great week ahead!
Thank you. I can see from the comments that this is something that matters to many of us. Hopefully this talking can lead to beneficial actions.
Thank you for sharing at #OverTheMoon. Pinned and shared. Have a lovely week. I hope to see you at next week’s party too! Please stay safe and healthy. Come party with us at Over The Moon! Catapult your content Over The Moon! @marilyn_lesniak @EclecticRedBarn
Thanks, Marilyn!