Back during my first pregnancy, I didn’t realize just how much my fingers would swell. They became so puffy that I thought we were going to have to cut off my wedding band!
After a lot of work and pain, we were able to get my ring off intact. Though it was best that it was no longer constricting my finger, I sure loathed going without it. Now I’m pregnant again and I’ll soon remove my ring to avoid the painful struggle I had last time. Though I know this is best, I remain hesitant to remove my ring.
The ring isn’t what makes me married, so why does it matter so much to me?
Why my wedding ring matters
In a time when marriage is widely regarded as one lifestyle choice among many, I’m pleased to wear a ring that symbolizes my status as a married woman. It proclaims to the world that I’ve chosen a lifelong covenant with one man, not casual hookups or serial live-in boyfriends. Additionally, any man who sees my left hand knows that I am “off the market.”
My ring doesn’t just communicate my status to others—it communicates it to me, reminding me of my commitment to my husband. When I see or feel it on my finger, I’m reminded that I’m not free to look with interest at other men or to engage in interactions that could lead to a physical or emotional affair.
To be honest, I’ve never been tempted to be unfaithful to my husband, but I am sometimes tempted to make decisions on my own that we should make together or to put my own needs and preferences above his. When this happens, a quick glance at my ring reminds me that we’re a unit (Genesis 2:24); everything I do impacts both of us.
Do you wear a wedding ring?
I’m not saying that you are right or wrong to choose to wear a wedding ring. Wedding rings aren’t common in some cultures. Individuals in certain lines of work (e.g., medicine, manual labor) often need to avoid wearing rings. Others are allergic to the metals that are typically used to form rings. Others interpret various Bible verses to mean that rings aren’t appropriate. I even know two spouses who don’t have money for jewelry—even simple rings—so they don’t have weddings rings!
There’s nothing wrong with avoiding rings for any of these reasons. As I said earlier, a ring doesn’t make you married. Ultimately, you and your spouse must decide what is right for your marriage. Because of the factors I’ve described above, my husband and I always wear our rings (unless, of course, I’m pregnant or one of our rings is in getting repaired or resized).
Do you and your spouse wear wedding rings? Why or why not? How did you decide?
Shared at the following link parties:
Weekend Wind Down, WholeHearted Wednesday, Wedded Wednesday, Tuesday Talk, Titus 2sday, Titus 2 Tuesday, Monday’s Musings and The Art of Home-Making.
I feel the same way – I don’t like being without my wedding ring!
I wear a substitute wedding ring most of the time – because I like wearing one, but the real one isn’t always appropriate. I actually have two sizes of basic sterling bands that are fairly inexpensive – so I can use whichever one fits on a given day : )
Hi Anna,
I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels so strongly about wearing my rings!
Great idea to wear the basic bands.
Wearing my husband’s wedding ring during my pregnancies gave me such joy!
Hugs,
Kelley~
55 soon
That sounds wonderful, Kelley! I’m glad you got to do that.
Thanks for this great post! Have you heard of SafeRingz? I recently discovered this company in a pregnancy group that I’m part of, and-if my fingers swell up during this pregnancy-might buy a ring from them. From what I’ve heard from others and read for myself, they make rings that are flexible and resistant, and these rings are sometimes used by pregnant women, construction workers, and people in the military (plus, the rings are inexpensive! Win!).
I honestly never thought of not wearing a ring; my husband and I really like the whole engagement ring marking a commitment, and then the wedding rings as a physical sign of the unbreakable union,fidelity, and self-gift between a man and woman in marriage. Plus, as you point out, it’s a beautiful reminder throughout the day that we are united, and I need to keep that in mind at all times 🙂
Hi AnneMarie,
I had not heard of SafeRingz, but I just looked it up and it sounds like a really neat concept! I may get one.
I always wear my wedding ring. My engagement ring is too loose and bothers me by rolling around so I leave that one off. I never take off my wedding ring. My husband on the other hand never has wore his since he almost lost his finger when his ring got caught on the edge of a boat as he slipped into the water (deeper than he thought). It doesn’t bother me as we have been married for almost 45 years.
Blessings,
Janis
Following you from Titus Tuesday
Hi Janis,
Your husband’s situation is a perfect example of how a ring isn’t what makes you married!
For some reason I have started developing a red itchy rash all around my wedding ring so I am only able to wear it sporadically when the rash is gone… but within a month it comes back. I’m experimenting with different soaps and trying to make sure I take it off to sleep each night (thinking airing out under and around the ring might help). But my finger does feel weird and oddly naked without it!
It definitely feels strange when the ring is absent. I hope you find a solution to the rash soon!
I completely agree! I hate it if I ever forget to put my ring back on after putting lotion on my hands or something. My husband doesn’t wear his ring because he’s not allowed to wear it at work when he works on his laser. Also, it doesn’t fit very well so it’s a pain to take off and on all the time so he hasn’t worn it in months. It kind of bothers me, but I know it’s the most practical thing for him right now.
Hi Charlene,
I’m glad your husband stays safe at work, even if that means going without his ring. Perhaps someday you can get him a ring that fits better so he can wear it when not at work.
We do wear our wedding rings (I’ve been married 28 years) but I remember when hubs used to take his off before work because it was actually a health hazard. He’d joke that he was “not married”. But that was only a joke, for he has been nothing but faithful to me all these years. I’m grateful.
Interesting you implemented looking at the ring when making a decision. That’s very wise! We have to include them, otherwise it’s divisive.
Your post title drew me in today, Shannon! Thank you for joining us at Tuesday Talk!
It’s wonderful that we have trustworthy spouses, isn’t it, Ruthie? I agree that it is best not to let this issue be divisive.
I completely agree with you and wear mine all the time also… And yes, especially for the first reason you mentioned, the last month of pregnancy, it is hard to part with that “tight” ring 🙂 Thank you for sharing this on the Art of Home-Making Mondays at Strangers & Pilgrims on Earth! 🙂
It’s a very small sacrifice for the baby, but I do miss it! Thanks for stopping by, JES.
I wear my wedding ring all the time. My husband lost his months ago and we couldn’t afford to replace it. It really hurt my feelings for a while, but now that he hasn’t been wearing it, I have found it doesn’t bother me much. It’s actually kind of encouraging to know that he genuinely doesn’t need it to feel connected to our marriage. That being said, he’s going to get another one as soon as possible 🙂 I like seeing it. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Amanda,
It seems that men in general don’t feel as strongly about their rings. Perhaps it is a gender difference? Regardless, I hope you are able to replace his soon.
I am a brand newlywed and one day during engagement I came to work without my engagement ring. I kept looking at my hand longingly all day! I felt so silly, but it had become an important reminder of the love he had for me and I for him.
It doesn’t take long to get used to having a ring on your finger! I agree…it is an important reminder.