The differences between optimists and pessimists can make great jokes and memes, but they can also be quite consequential when it comes to relationships and health. As we saw last month, pessimism can contribute to poor health outcomes (physical and mental), worsen quality of life, and strain relationships.
I tend to be a little on the pessimistic side, so I wasn’t particularly encouraged after writing that post. Thankfully, in addition to being the default setting for some individuals, optimism is a skill that the rest of us can hone through practice.
How to be more optimistic
As I noted last month, there are three major factors that determine if someone is an optimist or pessimist. These are explanatory style (how a person interprets hardships), experiences, and genetics. We don’t have any control over the things we’ve already experienced, nor can we change our genes. This means we must focus our efforts on explanatory style.
Pessimists understand events using the “3 Ps” of negative thinking: permanence (struggles last forever), pervasiveness (one failure ruins everything), and personalization (blaming oneself for every failure). We must address these three thought patterns to foster optimism.
- Permanence. We need to reframe setbacks as temporary. When we think that a struggle is permanent, we need to immediately remind ourselves that challenges are surmountable. Once we’ve done this, we can identify lessons to be learned from the setback. Armed with these lessons, we can adjust our plans and take small, actionable steps towards accomplishing these.
- Pervasiveness. We need to replace self-limiting beliefs with neutral or positive ones. In other words, when we feel that one failure means we will never succeed, we need to use positive self-talk to remind ourselves that a setback in one area of life doesn’t determine our success in other areas. Likewise, we can remind ourselves of times we have been successful previously. It can also be helpful to visualize a future where everything has gone well. This can be inspirational and it helps build confidence.
- Personalization. We need to remember that nothing happens in isolation. We do not fail or succeed solely because of our own efforts. Other things (the actions of other people, weather events, illnesses, etc.) impact outcomes. When we face hardships, instead of automatically blaming ourselves, we need to consider and acknowledge the impacts of things we can’t control.
There are other simple strategies we can use to cultivate optimism. One is to practice gratitude. Taking time daily to note 2 or 3 things for which we are grateful can really focus our minds on what is right instead of constantly mulling what is wrong. A simple gratitude journal can be useful in accomplishing this. A great complement to practicing gratitude is to limit how much time we spend on social media and reading or watching the news. This helps shield us from the sensationalized negativity that is pervasive in both. Another strategy is to limit how much time we spend with pessimistic people. This prevents us from stewing in negativity with others or engaging in competitive complaining (a phenomenon where individuals try to “out-complain” each other to gain validation or sympathy). Finally, we need to focus on our physical health. It is easier to have a positive outlook if we are getting sufficient sleep, eating well, and getting exercise (especially outdoors).
Final thoughts
As a person of faith, I always want to consider what the Bible says about the things I’m contemplating. There are no verses explicitly addressing optimism or pessimism. I believe scripture provides a realist take (a balanced middle ground) and promotes hope. The Bible illustrates and explicitly states that we will face hardships (John 16:33), but we are not supposed to dwell on these or give into fear, despair, or anger because we know that they are temporary. We can trust that God is with us and that, in the end, we will spend eternity with Him.
Embracing this realist perspective that is tempered by hope and using the strategies discussed above to cultivate optimism are useful ways to avoid the negative impacts of pessimism. For additional information on how to become more optimistic, please visit my sources:
- How to Prime Your Mind for Optimism
- Positive Thinking: Stop Negative Self-Talk to Reduce Stress
- How to Recognize and Respond to Pessimism
What strategies help you avoid negative thought patterns and foster positive ones?
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